


there's no fear in love

by BloodRaven55



Category: RWBY
Genre: Asexual Blake Belladonna, Asexuality, Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Light Angst, One Shot, Post-Volume 6 (RWBY), after they've officially started dating, also finally quick warning for some, and i don't specify how i see yang but in my head she's demi, and in a change from usual some, because there need to be more stories that include it, but also some, but it's at some point in the future, but nothing more extreme than adam's usual level of awfulness, but there's no actual sex of any kind in this story, in fact it focusses on, there's no specific time this is set
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 17:43:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21360148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodRaven55/pseuds/BloodRaven55
Summary: Blake is in love with Yang. She knows this for a fact. She can feel it in the way her heart beats a little louder every time they’re close to each other, in the way her palms grow a little clammy with nerves every time she holds Yang’s hand, in the way her thoughts wander to idle daydreams of the life they could build together— there is no doubt in her mind that she is head over heels for her partner.
Relationships: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long
Comments: 20
Kudos: 176





	there's no fear in love

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like there aren't enough fics that feature asexuality in general and especially not in the Bumbleby fandom, so as your resident ace-spectrum fic writer I made it my mission to change that.
> 
> I should say beforehand that Blake does direct some fairly harsh thoughts at herself regarding her asexuality here as a result of her other insecurities and Adam's emotional abuse, so if that's something that would trigger you then maybe give this one a miss, but of course it's written from an ace person's perspective and meant to be perceived as totally wrong, and the end goal is always her working through it to learn to be comfortable in her own skin and to love herself.
> 
> So with that said, enjoy!

Blake is in love with Yang. She knows this for a fact. She can feel it in the way her heart beats a little louder every time they’re close to each other, in the way her palms grow a little clammy with nerves every time she holds Yang’s hand, in the way her thoughts wander to idle daydreams of the life they could build together— there is no doubt in her mind that she is head over heels for her partner.

Which is why she finds it so confusing that when they kiss she doesn’t feel any urge to take things further, and when Yang’s body presses flush against her own she doesn’t sense any spark of desire like she expected. It all feels good—she enjoys kissing her partner, enjoys the closeness evident in how Yang touches her—but there’s no all-consuming, overpowering lust like she always imagined there would be.

The novels she reads nearly always conclude with the heroes making love as proof of their devotion, and Adam certainly made it clear that he would expect it from her eventually. She assumed that it was just part of what it meant to fall for someone, but maybe she was wrong, because she absolutely adores Yang, but she still doesn’t feel that drive to peel their clothes off and feel bare skin against bare skin.

Yang doesn’t seem to be in any particular hurry for sex either, always happy to let their make out sessions end in cuddling with their clothes still undisturbed, and Blake finds it reassuring even if she’s still a little at a loss as to her own feelings on the matter. Since it isn’t causing any problems, though, she puts it to the back of her mind for the moment, opting to focus on the pure joy of getting to finally be with Yang the way she always wanted after all this time.

But in the end she isn’t given the luxury of ignoring it any longer, because she wakes up in the middle of the night to the unmistakeable sounds of her partner masturbating. Blake doesn’t open her eyes, but she doesn’t need to when she recognises the low moans, the laboured breathing, and the rustling sheets from the few times she’s tried touching herself. But Yang isn’t quite as quiet as Blake is, and so Blake stays awkwardly still, trying in vain to go back to sleep.

“_Blake._” Her name follows a ragged sigh as Yang reaches her orgasm, and Blake has to forcibly stop her ears from twitching in an instinctive response.

It’s an incredibly flattering thought that her partner was thinking of her while she brought herself to climax, but it still doesn’t evoke the reaction that Blake anticipated it might. She doesn’t feel turned on, or anything more than mildly embarrassed to have overheard such a private moment by accident. She rolls over after several more seconds, trying to make it look like a natural movement in her sleep.

If she’s honest, she’s also starting to feel a little guilty. If Yang’s feeling the need to take care of herself, and she’s thinking about Blake when she does it, then it probably means that her partner would like to experience the real thing, and Blake doesn’t want to deny her. She drifts back to sleep slowly, resolving to figure out what she’s going to do about it tomorrow.

* * *

The next day passes just like usual, but Blake can’t stop thinking about the idea that Yang’s been left frustrated and unsatisfied all this time and it’s all her fault. They settle into bed as normal that evening, but this time when Blake leans in for a kiss she doesn’t pull back until they’re both panting and breathless. She slips her hands under Yang’s shirt to run her palms over the toned muscle of her partner’s abdomen, and she shifts forward to straddle Yang’s lap as she deepens the kiss.

Her partner is clearly content to go with the flow, kissing her back and wrapping her arms around Blake’s waist to keep her close. She doesn’t seem inclined to push for anything more, though, and Blake bites down gently on Yang’s bottom lip in a flash of inspiration. Her partner moans, fingers digging into Blake’s hips as she pulls her flush against her body, and Blake takes the opportunity to slip her tongue into Yang’s mouth.

Her partner freezes instantly, and Blake tenses up as well, worried that she’s done something wrong. Yang carefully guides her to sit back a little so that she can make eye contact, and Blake shoves down the urge to avert her eyes for fear of seeing anger in Yang’s expression. Her partner’s features only hold concern, however, and Blake relaxes just a fraction.

“Where did this come from, baby?” Yang asks, sounding earnestly confused. When Blake can’t bring herself to answer, her partner tries again. “I can tell you’re not into it, you know.”

Blake feels her lower lip start to tremble, her eyes stinging. “Aren’t you mad at me?”

“What?” Now Yang only looks more perplexed, her brow furrowing in the most adorable way as she rests a hand comfortingly on Blake’s arm. “Why on Remnant would I be mad?”

“B-Because I should want this, sh-shouldn’t I? I love you, s-so I should want to d-do this for you—” Yang’s face has gone from uncomprehending to nauseated, and Blake trails off at the sight.

“Blake, there is no _‘should’_ here. We do what we both feel comfortable with— nothing more. Please, baby, look at me.” Blake meets Yang’s gaze again, finding it surprisingly easy not to look away. “I _never_ want you to make yourself do something that you don’t want because you think I want it. Okay?”

Blake swallows hard, letting her partner’s voice drown out the whisper in her head telling her that she’s being selfish, and she nods. “I promise.”

“Good,” Yang says, her face lighting up with a radiant smile that warms Blake’s heart. “In that case, if it’s okay with you, I’d really like to cuddle before we go to sleep.”

Blake laughs, and instead of answering with words she tackles Yang back onto the bed, snuggling into her until she’s lying with her head resting on Yang’s chest and Yang’s hand is rubbing gradually up and down her spine in a gentle, rhythmic motion that makes her feel safer than she ever has before in her life. For a beat there’s silence, and she simply listens to her partner’s heartbeat, allowing the steady sound to wash away the last of her insecurity.

But after a few minutes she can’t help the questions forming in her mind, and she finds herself worrying again. “This isn’t fair to you. I don’t think I’m ever going to want— to want sex. In general, not just with you. But I know that you do want it, and it isn’t right for me to deprive you of—”

“Blake,” Yang cuts her off gently but firmly. “You’re not depriving me of anything. For a start, I could never enjoy anything we did if I knew you didn’t really want it. And besides, sex isn’t that big a deal to me anyway. I like the idea of it, sure, and I’m very attracted to you, but it isn’t a must-have for me. You, on the other hand, are extremely important to me—vital, even—and all I want is for you to be happy, so if you don’t want sex then we don’t have sex. The way I see it it’s as simple as that.”

Blake doesn’t know what she did to deserve someone like Yang, but for whatever reason her partner has chosen to be with her anyway, and she’s not going to take it for granted. She’s about to put her gratitude into words when Yang speaks again before she can so much as open her mouth. “Baby, please don’t thank me for this. It’d break my heart.”

“But I—”

“No. This is the very least you deserve. You don’t owe me a thing. I know he made respect seem like something optional, but that isn’t right.”

Yang’s words leave no room for argument, but her tone stays unwaveringly gentle, and Blake has no choice but to believe her. She asks herself whether she would begrudge Yang for the same thing if the situation was reversed, and the _no_ comes almost instantaneously. She still can’t quite shake the nagging sense of doubt completely, but it’s quiet enough that she can block it out for now.

She wraps herself around Yang a little more tightly, soaking in her partner’s body heat and the intimacy of holding the woman she loves and being held in return. Yang presses a kiss to the top of her head—between her ears—and Blake yawns, realising just how drowsy she feels now that her emotions have calmed. This time she sleeps through until morning, and she wakes up feeling more rested than she has in weeks despite Yang’s snoring, which is far more endearing than it has any right to be.

**Author's Note:**

> This was kind of more personal than usual so what I hope most is that it felt real and authentic, and maybe that it helped at least a small number of people understand things better. Anyway let me know if it was good and I'll see you all next time <3


End file.
